Both my hands managed to work their way into her hair as I pushed my body tighter to hers. I felt her grip in my hair tighten and I couldn’t help but lightly bite her bottom lip.
I picked at my fingers anxiously as I waited for someone to answer the door at her house. It had been so long. So long since we had any real contact and I didn’t know how things were going to turn out. Because last time, everything ended terribly.
Crying, fighting, swearing. And more crying. Everyday seemed to drag on forever and I thought I was for sure to go crazy. I thought I was truly going to lose my sanity before I was able to be with her again.
That’s why this time I was determined to get it right. I was going to talk to her parents first. To possibly get their blessing.
If it didn’t work out, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I didn’t want to ruin her family relations, but I also didn’t want to lose her again before I even had a chance to get her back again. There’s only so much heartbreak a girl can handle.
Finally she answered the door.
I felt the tears come instantly and I knew I wouldn’t be able to fight them off. I was always too emotional and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t change that.
“Hi.” I breathed out as I looked at her with a small smile. I had forgotten how beautiful she was. Pictures and memories only did so much. Seeing her in person truly sent my heart over the edge.
I wasn’t sure how to take her shocked face. Was she shocked that I was there and had never expected me to return? Or was she shocked that I was there because she had missed me so much?
I smiled nervously at her while the tears burned my eyes. I wanted her to say something. Anything. Even if it was ‘go away.’ Something to show she still had some emotion towards me.
“Please say something.” I said in a quiet whisper and looked in her eyes, still trying to figure out her emotions.
I saw anger, fear, pain, and love flash in her eyes in that quick few seconds before she pulled me into a tight hug.
It was her hug. The hug I had missed. The hug I had longed for for some many countless months.
I instantly wrapped my arms around her neck and began bawling into her shoulder. Between sobs I took deep breaths to take into her scent so I wouldn’t be able to forget how she smelled. So perfect. So right.
I was shaking as she pulled away from me, but kept her arms around my waist. I hiccuped before saying, “I’m sorry.”
It wasn’t until now that I had realized she had been crying. Tears were streaming down her face, but I could tell she was fighting them off much better than I was my own.
She took one of her hands and wiped away some of the tears from my cheek before saying, “Shh, love, it’s okay.”
I choked back more tears and just nodded my head, causing more tears to begin falling. She kissed my forehead and leaned her head against mine. We stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like forever until she finally said in a soft voice, “Would you like to come inside?”
“Yes,” I said hesitantly, “If I’m allowed.”
She smiled her adorable smile before grabbing my hand and leading me inside. We went over to the couch I had only sat on one previous time (a time that was not a very good memory). Before I could sit next to her she pulled me onto her lap and held me in her arms.
It was always so easy for me to be around her. Easy for me to be myself.
I gave a sigh and nestled my head into her chest and listened to her heart. The soft beating of it revealed to me how at ease both of us were. Content in each other’s arms. Forever.
She was the first to break the silence, “So…not to be rude…but why are you here right now?”
I pulled my head away from her chest and replied simply, “I needed to see you. And there’s really nothing stopping me now.”
She smiled, but something seemed off. Like something she wasn’t telling me. So I continued, “Unless you don’t want me anymore. Because then I understand. I just…I just thought you’d still feel the same…but I could be wrong…I’m always wrong…”
I could feel the floodgates opening again as my voice cracked. Quickly she replied, “No. No. No. No. That’s not it. Not at all. Of course I feel the same way. I told you, I promised you, that that was never changing. It’s just….the parent issue again.”
Relief rushed over me. I had always been worried things would change with our long gap. Because people do change and feelings change, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew how I felt and I knew, no matter what, I was never going to let what I was feeling go. I was too stubborn to let it go.
“Yes…that issue.” I said, once I was finally able to focus again, “That’s another reason why I’m here.”
She cocked her head to the side and said, “Huh?”
Taking a deep breath I explained, “I wanted to ask them for permission. To get their blessing on our relationship. I know you may not want that, but…I’d feel better about it.”
I saw the nervousness in her eyes the moment I said this. I knew she wouldn’t like the idea, but I needed to do it. To at least try and get her parent’s to like me again…somewhat.
“I-I don’t know about that.” She said slowly, looking away from my eyes.
“Why not?” I countered, “I am trying to do this properly this time cause I screwed up big time in the past.”
“Ya, but…” She paused as she tried to find the right words, “I don’t think they’re ever going to really accept all of this. You. Me. Us. Ya know?”
I knew what she meant, but I was hoping she was wrong. “Do you think I should just not ask them and just steal you so you can be mine forever without their permission?”
She smiled widely as I rolled my eyes. “Yes!”
“No. I’m not going to do that.” She frowned and gave her pouty face, “Don’t do the pouty face, it makes me wanna kiss you.”
“And is that a bad thing?” She replied, her voice and face turning seductive now.
I felt my cheeks get hot as I smiled and whispered, “Not really.”
“I’ve missed how cute you are.” She said quietly as she lightly lifted my chin up.
She looked into my eyes and whispered a quiet, I love you, before placing her lips upon mine.
It reminded me of our first kiss, except this time I was more prepared.
One of my hands quickly found her face and began lightly tracing her jaw line while the other attached to the back of her neck, trying to pull her closer to me. Her hands had similar reactions. One in my hair, while the other was against the small of my back causing me to pushed closer to her as well.
I kept my eyes closed, like I always did, as the familiar actions rushed back to me. I slightly parted my lips and kissed her again, a bit more forcefully this time, but with no objections. Her hand slid up the bottom of my shirt and I felt her cool hand along my back. I heard a quiet sigh, but I could not tell if it came from me or her, for both of us seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the moment.
Both my hands managed to work their way into her hair as I pushed my body tighter to hers. I felt her grip in my hair tighten and I couldn’t help but lightly bite her bottom lip. Instantly I felt her body shudder and felt a smile spread across her face. I opened my eyes slightly and saw her looking back at me. We gave each other one last kiss before she whispered into my ear, our bodies pressing against each other so close we almost created one person, “Fine, you can talk to them. But they won’t be home for another hour.”
I giggled and whispered back, my lips pressed against her neck, “That’s okay. It gives me more time with you.”
I knew she was smiling as she laid down on the couch and pulled me close next to her. Her arms wrapped around me and mine around her.
Finally complete again.
Finally whole again.
My heart knew how to beat again.
==story still in progress==
